STOP BEING YOUR FAMILY ROLE – PART ONE

May 15, 2020
This is a very difficult step for many people I know. They never doubted they ARE daughters, sons, parents, uncles, grandparents, wives or husbands. Their family roles are prominent factors of their identity. Let me tell you a story about this mistake.

Some years ago I paid a visit to my mother, with my son. We had a rather boring conversation – my mother wasn’t in a good mood. As I stood up to leave, my son asked her: "Grandmother, how was your first kiss?" No woman in the world can resist answering such a question. Even if you would have asked Mother Teresa of Calcutta “Excuse me, madam, how was your first kiss?", she would have smiled and begun to tell, leaving for some minutes her lepers to her assistants. My mother started to tell him: "Oh. It was in 1943, in the winter. And he was a pilot. We were in the hospital’s courtyard, playing with snowballs, and I slipped, fell down, and he helped me and we looked at each other and…" I was staring at my mother, in astonishment. I was realizing that I had never asked her such a question, because to a son a mother is a mother and not a woman. Now I was seeing the woman emerging from her: a very interesting woman, with lots of things to tell. And at the same time, I felt that she too was staring at me not as a son, but as a new person. We kept on talking for half an hour, in bliss. She was already 85 at that time, and I was 50. That is, for fifty years I did not know her; I knew only her family role. If you still have parents, try this experiment before it is too late, and you will thank me.

Talents

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