Insights/ episode #21

HOW TO REMEMBER TRAUMAS

May 25, 2020
Don’t try to do this on your own. You never will. You can’t disobey the orders you gave to yourself many years ago. You may ask a therapist. And you may be lucky – your therapist may be a very good one and in a couple of years or so will help you find a path to those forgotten corners of your mental room. Or you may ask a friend, a loving one.

It happened to me. I was abused by a man when I was sixteen. And I remembered everything about that experience except for one thing: the effect it had on me. The trauma was not in what happened between me and that man, it was in how I felt. So, I told that experience to at least a dozen friends and lovers, and I even used to be proud of that experience, because I managed to survive it: it was a big scar. But I never told anybody what I felt in those days. I did not remember the humiliation, the dismay, the sense of guilt, the sense of defeat.

One day, I was driving with a friend, a long journey from Milan to Trieste (400 miles). We both had to give lectures in Trieste. And I told him that story, as best I was able to tell it. My friend listened in silence. Then he said: "I feel very sad. That man hurt you very badly. He wanted to hurt you. And he did." Two minutes later I started to cry. I did not cry when I was sixteen. And that experience never made me cry later. I cried on that beautiful summer day, and I was growing up. My mental room was becoming wider.

I have said that a trauma, i.e. an obstacle in your mental room, is SOMETHING YOU CAN’T REMEMBER. If you remember it, it won’t be a trauma any more: it will lose its power to impede you and become nothing but a memory.

But now we have had enough insights for the moment, and we can discover another big theme, which is exactly the contrary of traumas: WISHES.

Talents

Have you ever looked at yourself from ABOVE?

Some say everyone has an Angel. Perhaps. I learned that everyone IS an Angel and that we do our best when we realize what kind of Angel we are. In this Section you’ll find a little handbook of angelic identities.

The Mind's Tools

Are you sure your mind can’t reach the Milky Way?

It all depends on how you use your mind. It’s rather simple after all: you are the specialist about your own mind; nobody knows it better than you do. I’ll show you WHAT you know about it.

Solutions

This is a trying time, isn’t it? But a new one.

New epochs can begin like that: with an ordeal. Some people pass through the ordeal and enter into a brand new future. Others don’t even notice the ordeal and think that it is only a setback!